Crafty tips for crappy cooks

Crappy cook, that’s me to a T. OK, sometimes I get it right, but that’s generally far more by luck than judgement. I can count on the fingers of one finger how often I can truly say that a recipe has turned out the way I hoped.

It isn’t that I don’t try. I do. But so often it seems the harder I try, the longer I take, the more care I put into my culinary efforts, the more disappointing is the result. I love cooking, and I really get thoroughly frustrated and pissed off when I’ve lavished hours and euros on a dish that doesn’t turn out. I can hardly bear to remember the bouillabaisse that cost 92€ in ingredients, half a day to prepare and was inedible.

I used to be a good cook, years ago, and I don’t know what happened, but I seem to have completely lost my touch.

So the other day I had a couple of nice fish steaks; or they would have been nice if I hadn’t forgotten them in the oven. By the time I remembered they were dry and looked rather like those little rectangular sponges that you wash dishes with. We don’t throw food away no matter how awful it is. It’s too expensive to waste, so we have to find a way to eat it.

I considered making a beurre blanc, but that was going to take half an hour during which the fish would continue to shrivel and shrink, and risked going horribly wrong, so I Googled “quick sauce for fish” and from Mumsnet found this:

“Butter, lemon juice, black pepper, and dill if you have some. Melt it all together.”

Result, as the ingredients melted they formed a nice creamy, cholesterol-laden sauce in a matter of 3 minutes, not dissimilar to a beurre blanc, but quicker and easier. Β By drenching the fish liberally, we managed to swallow it without too much discomfort. And boiled potatoes sucked up the surplus sauce.

So a useful little recipe to keep for emergencies.




7 thoughts on “Crafty tips for crappy cooks

    • Hm. In the baking department I’m not too bad – or more correctly my bread machine turns out excellent bread, and we’re not really cake eaters. Charcuterie is a non-non as we are vegetarians, but my soups are generally OK. It’s the main courses that let me down. Keep your fingers crossed for me tonight – have guests coming and one is a fussy eater. πŸ˜€

  1. You could also scrape the fish off its dish and swish some white wine around to catch the juices over a low heat and then add some cream. Never fails! πŸ™‚

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