Oh damn, damn, damn. I wish I had a country

I am so frustrated that I could spontaneously combust.

A once in a lifetime opportunity has arisen – I could be a flipping multi-millionaire, if only I had a country.

This morning the following letter arrived from a very nice man named John Mario.

If I had a country, I’d be in clover for ever.

If anybody has a reasonably-priced country for sale, please contact me urgently so that I can take advantage of my new friend’s offer. I’m prepared to go up to $25,000,000 (although for Spain, Portugal, Eire or Italy I’d expect to pay considerably less.)

If you have a country of your own, I am trusting in your integrity not to try and snatch this opportunity away from me by contacting Mr John Mario directly.

“Dear Friend,
Compliments.
We’ve been trying to reach you several times without no success. we are trying if this email can get into your inbox to explain our investment intentions to you.

I am contacting you briefly based on the Investment of Fifty Million Dollars (US$ 50,000,000:00) in your country, as I presently have a client who is interested in investing in your country, but he has never done business in your country before. I find it imperative to solicit for a partnership. Hence upon receipt of this letter, I implore you to kindly respond and let me know how possible it is to work with you in mutual partnership under the below conditions as follows:

1. My client’s fund is Ready.
2. My client is willing to invest immediately.
3. My client will pay you a commission of 20% of the investment fund for logistics and protocols which is Ten Million to you.
4. My client desires absolute confidentiality in the handling and management of this brief within 5 years.

I must draw your attention to the fact that I have kept the information’s here in this letter stated brief;
as I do not know if you will receive this letter and or what your response will be, If you do have the interest and the capability to partner with me under the above stated conditionality, I will appreciate your response sent back to me by email address john_lightup@aol.com
I will appreciate that you include a brief profile of yourself and your company for me to better appreciate your personality.
I look forward to your response and our partnership.

Have a nice day.
Sincerely Yours.

Mr. John Mario”

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