What are you putting on your face? Expensive nourishing creams? Perhaps with melted people in them?

Peruvian police have arrested several people who have admitted abducting and killing plump peasants for the purpose of harvesting their body fat with the intention of selling it in Italy for the production of high-end skin care creams.

According to police reports, the victims were beheaded and dismembered, and their torsos hung on hooks from the ceiling. Lighted candles placed beneath them encouraged their melting fat to dribble into pots and pans, and the resulting harvest was decanted into bottles with a price tag of £9,000 per litre.

After reading this grisly story here, I’m more than ever satisfied with Lidl and Aldi’s low cost face creams.

 

 

 

 

So everything is peaceful and I’m tapping away, when there’s a small popping noise, and the electricity fizzles out. I push, pull, twist, turn and press all the knobs and buttons on the box, to no avail, and spend the entire afternoon without telephone, Internet or the use of the coffee machine.

When the husband, who can usually sort these things out quickly, gets home, he is mystified. He too pushes, pulls, twists, turns, and presses. He examines all the fuses. I stand watching to see if a light comes on, shouting “No,” “No,” “No” until I would like to scream. Our kindly neighbour, a retired electrician, is invited to have a go, and for half an hour he too is puzzled.

The answer is simple once we know it. The cat, the beautiful tabby cat with the filthy habits, has neatly urinated directly into one of the wall sockets. Just the small yellow puddle gives it away. It has an attraction for electricals. Once it peed all over the top of a brand new monitor, causing it (the monitor) to give a loud bang, emit a veil of smoke, and die. The cat was seen streaking down the garden with all its hair standing on end.

Qui? Moi? Jamais.

This is the birth of a dragonfly.

Last year there was a very ugly and sinister bug thingy with pop eyes on one of the lily pads. Idly I wondered what it was, until one day, as I was watching, it started to move, and slowly split open down its back, releasing this beautiful dragon fly.

Rather similar to the tale of the ugly duckling?